I was sat in a regional departure lounge waiting for a flight when a women sat down next to me. A few minutes went by and the airline announced the flight would be delayed. The women turned to me and said “is that you too?” I said yes I’m heading down for the day. The women replied “me too, I’m back this evening. I’m going down for a funeral”. She went on to explain it was of a good friend. He was an older man who was very wealthy and had a wife and two grown children. She paused and said ” he seemed really happy”. “That’s good” I said. “He gassed himself in his car” she said. I paused and for a moment. I didn’t know this man I knew a few sentences about his life but I knew a truth. The thing that’s unsaid. Like a swan calm on the surface but kicking like mad underneath. Not a person in the world knowing how he was feeling and him thinking the best was out was out. These stories are nothing but sad. Sad for the man, sad for his family and sad for as all. Mental health is a hot topic but should be part of our everyday. As the aircraft safety announcement reminded me in an emergency give yourself oxygen first then help other.
Do you ever wonder why we all try so hard? We want to be the best. We want to win. We want to hit our goals.We want, we want , we want.
With this in mind we find our self in a place that around every corner is a self help, self development, judgmental, How to win in every aspect of our lives. I do it i want to develop self and become the best version of me. (really?…) . Nah not Really. I do try now and then i’ll start a new fad of self help. fitter, more organised, better at everything.
Where does it really get me? Maybe its better just to be me? is that what people mean by authentic? Well I don’t know. Who knows.
I would love to get some thoughts and insight into what people think. Why do you strive?
Please leave comments below and lets start a conversation.
Are you like me feed up with the bullshit we are spoon feed as men?If so join me on a journey of self discovery to help us better understand how we should be men in today’s world.
1. You are not your haircut or the clothes you wear.
What are we trying to project when we get a certain hair cut or dress in a certain way. “It’s my own unique sense of style” bullshit it is. We do these things like we always have through history. We look a certain way as a mask. A mask to hide how we really feel about ourselves. Self confidence, self image. We want to project to the world how we want to feel. Don’t get me wrong general hygiene aside we all do it. But think for a second why am I projecting my self this way? It won’t be easy but deep underneath it’s there.
2. How the media tells us how to live our lives as men
The media say:”A man must be a strong provider””A man must be sensitive””A man must be a good father””A man must look attractive to women”And many other things. The point is the media only confuses what it is to be a man. And this has become a problem we don’t know where we fit in society.
3. What about the people in our lives how do they see us?
Well for me it’s confusing. I need to be many things to many people. So where does that leave me? Self identity, purpose and values conflict. Is there another way? I hope so.
4. Where do we start?
Let’s get back to our core. Start with who we are and build and grow.
Evaluate. Take stock. Where are we?
Ok enough for now check in very soon for step 2
OK lets do this…“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth” – Mike Tyson